Under Pressure

I just got back from a doctor's appointment. Apparently I have a terrible bladder infection, causing intense lower back and abdominal pain. Fun stuff! Hopefully the strong antibiotic she prescribed me will clear it up in no time.

Anyone who's carried even a little extra weight knows how emotionally taxing it can be to see the doctor. Doctors' scales are highly accurate and can certainly be a wake-up call if you haven't weighed yourself recently. I remember weighing in at 236 one winter morning two years ago. I hadn't weighed myself in several months, but knew I'd put on quite a few pounds as I literally had to wear sweat pants every single day. I felt and looked terrible, but I was in denial about my overall weight gain; seeing that number was a serious punch in the stomach. As soon I got back to my car in the parking lots, I burst into tears and cried for hours. This was after begging the doctor to prescribe me Adipex or another appetite suppressant. He refused, and I felt completely hopeless. At that time, I really didn't think I could lose any weight without the help of medication.

Thankfully, I'm much lighter today and knew what to expect from the evil doctor's scale. My scale this morning read 202.4, so seeing 205.6 was no surprise in full clothing after two meals.

No, the number that somewhat startled me today was my blood pressure. I'm certainly genetically prone to higher blood pressure thanks to my family history, so I'm always a bit concerned about it. Last time I measured it, it was 126/81. Today it was 140/90.

Granted, the last time I took it was at a machine in a pharmacy, so that could account for some of the difference. Plus, I tend to start having a mini anxiety attack as soon as I step in the doctor's door, so stress could certainly be a factor. But these are all just excuses.

140/90 isn't classified as high according to this index, but it's absolutely borderline high. It's borderline high blood pressure. And I'm 25 years old.

I recently had my cholesterol measured, since I have a godawful family history there as well. It was 198, just two points shy of being high. My mom once had cholesterol of over 1000--literally so high she should have been dead. There's so way she could eat enough fat for it to be that, so clearly there was something wrong with her body. I'm sure I'll have issues with it someday--we seem to have the same physical characteristics for almost everything. So it's something to be concerned about, for sure.

Okay, so I'm borderline high pressure and almost borderline high cholesterol. It sounds to me like I'm dangerously close to developing metabolic syndrome. All I need to now is insulin resistance (pre-Diabetes) and I've never been tested for that, so I could have it already.

Most of the time I feel healthy. I'm overweight but active, and I never feel my weight holds me back (except emotionally). But despite feeling healthy, I'm NOT. I'm borderline everything, in terms of my health, and that's not a place I want to be at my age.

It's time to stop living a borderline life. It's time to be as healthy and happy as I can possibly be.