The Scale is Cooperating. My Mind is Another Story.

After last week’s disappointing weigh in, I was anxious to kick it into high gear to make sure I rocked the next meeting. I kept my eating (fairly) in check and worked out Friday, Sunday, Monday and Tuesday. Tuesday night was actually an interesting little incident. I got home from choir practice a little after 10. Given that I leave the house at 7, that put me right around a 15-hour day. Yet I knew if I didn’t get a good workout in, I wouldn’t be down enough in the morning to really rock my weigh in.

I asked Jeff is I could do my video in the living room. He was playing a game and whined a little that he wouldn’t be able to play it in the bedroom. The particular DVD I wanted to do requires more room, so I got frustrated and shut myself in the bathroom. I drew a bath and sulked in the tub. I was irritable; the last thing I wanted to do was an intense workout video, and Jeff’s protest struck a nerve. He immediately came in apologizing, trying to convince me to still do my video. I told him to go away.

Almost as soon as I dismissed him, I realized how much better the bath would feel after a good workout. I thought about how awesome it would feel to have a good loss at my meeting the next day. I got out of the tub, dried off and changed into my workout clothes. As punishment, I made Jeff do an intense 45-minute DVD with me. It was a harder workout than I’d planned, and having him by my side really encouraged me to push myself.

In the morning I saw 197 on the scale. A number I haven’t seen since 2007. I went to my weigh in and registered a very satisfying 2.2 pound loss. I also reached a Weight Watchers milestone: For the first time ever, I weighed in at less than 200 at my official weigh in. It felt so nice to see a 1 on my weight log!

I feel immensely hopeful in achieving this small goal. It feels like real progress. Hitting this lower number has convinced me that, through hard work and steady progress, I can and WILL achieve my greater goal.

Since then, however, I’ve been struggling a bit. My eating hasn’t been outright out of control; I just haven’t been tracking very careful and can feel a “bingey” mindset attempting to break through. Last night I had two glasses of wine and munched all evening. I ate some jelly beans this morning (no idea why) that caused a mild sugar headache. I managed to have a somewhat healthy lunch, but my heart wasn’t in it. I spent the entire meal fantasizing about driving up to Burger King and eating a combo meal in my car. But I didn’t.

I need to get my head back in the game. Every time I reach a lower number, I give up a little and slightly regress to my old ways, until I’m two pounds heavier. Rinse and repeat.

I’m going to start by tracking for the last two days. Every bite.

I’m going to do a workout as soon as I get home tonight. No excuses.

I’m going to track this entire weekend instead of letting myself indulge a little.

My goal for next week’s weigh in is 196 or lower. Can I do it?