I think it will help me stay on track to post my weight here once a week. I'm not so concerned with big losses each week--I just want to keep an idea on the general direction. If I'm only down .2 pounds, no worries--it's the long run that counts! If I've lost 20 or 30 pounds in two years, I'll be a very happy girl!
As of this morning I weighed: 203.2
Okay, on to some more updates! As I mentioned in my last post, I've been experiencing some depression lately, so I talked to a psychiatrist on Tuesday. She agreed that the low energy, lack of focus and feelings of hopelessness all point to a chemical inbalance in my brain. She prescribed me a mild anti-depressant (Wellbutrin), which I started taking today. I looked up the side effects online, and thankfully weight gain wasn't one of them, so I was relieved!
It felt really good to acknowledge this emotional rut and declare it a work in progress. I know the medication won't be this miracle drug that makes my life suddenly perfect; I'm just hoping to emerge from the black cloud enough to recapture control of my life.
In other news, eating and exercise have been pretty good. I've been doing lots of yoga and taking walks, which feels like a pretty good combination for now. Tomorrow I'm going to my weekly yoga/pilates class. My friend and I have been going consistently for a couple months now. I don't feel like I've made significant strides yet, but I've definitely gotten some great ab work in! I'm aiming to do at least three hours of yoga a week on a regular basis. My dream is to attend a ritzy yoga retreat somewhere exotic. I definitely need to build up my strength and repertoire of poses before I take that leap.
I've also been really busy performing with my choir. I'm a member of an elite group of singers that performs around Boston, and the holiday season is a busy time! Tonight we performed for a really sweet group of elderly residents at a local retirement home. They really enjoyed the upbeat numbers, and I could see the happiness and appreciation all over their faces as they took in our performance. After the show I spoke with several of the attendees. One took hold of my hand and told me over and over how much she enjoyed the show, and I could tell it really brightened her day to chat with me for a bit. It was one of the most rewarding concerts I've had since joining the group a few months ago.
Being part of this group is time consuming, with rehearsals and performances every week, but I realized tonight what a healthy activity it is to have in my life. Instead of laying around watching HGTV all night (what I would have done if I'd been at home), I engaged in something I love doing and connected with a group of people that really appreciated me. And none of it involved food. (Except for the cookie table they had out after the concert, which I deftly avoided!)
I leave with you an adorable pic of my dog, Sydney, cuddling with Jeff's XBox controller: